How Can I Tell If They Are The One?
Struggling inside, trying to work out whether you have a future with your partner or not and if they are truly the one for you?
Can we make it last?
Is it meant to be?
Will we be able to face the more difficult times ahead as well as the good?
These types of questions are a fear of the unknown and all thought by almost every one in a relationship at some point in their life. Uncertainty about your partner and their reactions to particular life issues and experiences such as moving house or having kids can lead to doubts and fears in your mind.
83% of break ups could be avoided if the right questions were asked from the beginning
Most couples will cover some of the important questions as they get to know each other and learn more about each other – what they want for the future, do they want to have children, what they would like in a partner etc.
Starting these conversations are great and are very important, to be even more sure ” take the questions to the next level. For example if we are talking about whether you want kids or not as a couple, wouldnt it be useful to know these types of questions:
What kind of parent are you going to be?
What are the best ways to discipline kids?
Do you have any fears about raising kids, if so what are they?
Can you see the answers to these questions will require more than just a one word answer – a bit of thought is required – and that will help you decide whether they are the one for you or not.
There is not a right way or a wrong way to answer these types of questions. As long as you answer as open and honestly as possible then it will really give you alot more information about your possible future together.
Answering these questions together either face to face or via email or letter in an honest manner will give you a better understanding of each other and your future.
The most important issues you could be discussing regarding your future are:
Home
Work
Friends and Family
Morals and Beliefs
Health, Food and Wellbeing
Finances
Parenting and Kids
Pastimes and Interests
Past Experience and the Future
Pets in the Home
Wedding and Commitment
Possible Conflict Issues
Religion
Conversation and Communicating
Sex and Intimacy
Holidays and Free Time
Would you be able to commit to someone if they had a different attitude to money as you – imagine one of you put aside money every week for savings accounts and your future and the other person blew it all on clothes, fashion, food and entertainment?
Could you continue to have a successful relationship or marriage if you had completely different goals and dreams and what if one of you is really ambitious and the other is quite happy where they are?
Would you like to be open and honest about most things in your relationship and life but the other person is a bit more of a closed book? Could you deal with that in the long term?
Getting more information about your partner and their future expectations will really help you make a decision about whether you should be together or not. It will help you identify any problem areas either at the moment or for the future i.e different parenting attitudes, giving you the power right now to either help work through it or decide it it maybe best to leave things.