Learning Early About Good Parenthood
Fathers and mothers don’t really find out how to care for children from books and lectures. They learn the basics during their own childhoods. If a child is raised in an easygoing way, he is likely to be the same kind of parent. The can be said for someone raised by strict parents. We all end up at least somewhat like our parents, especially in the way we deal with our children.
Think back to your own childhood. There are probably things about how they behaved towards you as parents which youd like to pass along to your own children and other things youd definitely like to avoid. Becoming a parent is a chance to look at your past and how your childhood molded into who you are today, as well as how to become the kind of parent youd like to be for your children.
If you are having your first child you need to remember that none of us are instantly perfect parents. Parenting is a process and we learn how to take care of our children and how to become a better parent as we go, creating the bonds between parent and child as we do so. Just dont expect to be an expert on parenting instantly.
While parents have a tremendous influence on the development of their children, it is the other way around as well ” as we teach our children and care for them, we are also learning from them. Parenthood is a transformative experience and is often thought of as a time of great personal growth.
Think for a minute about people immigrating to the US and starting families here. This describes almost every American family, at least at some point in their history ” our nation was built up over time by wave after wave of new arrivals from all over the world. Millions have come here and begun the intimidating process of raising a child in a new country and an unfamiliar culture. You can imagine the confusion which they must feel.
However, its in many ways just like being a parent in a culture which is familiar to you. After all, you have moved away from your own parents and no longer have their constant guidance. We are in a way, immigrants to the world of parenthood.
Just like an immigrant starting a family in a new and unfamiliar country, we as parents face the challenge of deciding what cultural values to pass on to our children. We need to be able to hold on to our core values while being able to adapt to and participate fully in the culture at large. Families which cut all ties to their core cultural values are likely to find themselves adrift and without any meaningful core values to pass on to their children. On the other hand, families which adhere to closely to their cultural ties can find that these differences effectively cut them off from mainstream society and close a lot of opportunities off to their children.
A flexible approach will help all parents cope with the challenges of raising children in a changing society. You need to be able to hold on to your core values but also stay open to what’s new. You need to choose which changes to accept and which to reject. You have to make your parenting choices according to your own sense of what is important.